Mushrooms

I have this thing for mushrooms. I don't know what it is. It might just be that I like the word.. mushroom...

Mushr00m.

Sopp! that's the norwegian word for it.

As i've said before, they look funny. It's the consistency that freaks me out, very strange to eat. Especially the hermetical. Actually, it's just the hermetical mushrooms i don't like. I eat fresh mushrooms. A little bit. but not much..

We sell mushrooms at the shop where I work of course. Cause it's kind of a big shop, and I work with the fruit and vegetables, which includes the mushrooms. We have chamgnon, Shi take mushrooms, aroma mushrooms and oyster mushrooms.

It's various how much we sell. Most in the autumn obviously, but sometimes we just sell lots and lots of mushrooms! It's baffling how suddenly all the boxes of mushrooms are empty.

I think.... there is a mushroom cult. And at various times of the year they buy lots and lots of mushrooms! and burn them! No way that they eat all those mushrooms. It's just too much. I bet they gather in someones garden and throw one and one mushroom into the fire as they walk in a circle, hymming. wearing blue and orange stripy coats. And hats that don't suit them. And sandals. Definatly sandals. Must be. I can see it for my inner eye. Under the coat, they're probably naked. To be in touch with their inner mushroom or something.

Annyway, that means that we order lots of mushrooms for the next day, since we were sold out that day. But the clever little bastards don't have these secret ceremonies any time we can predict them, so we're usually stuck with loads of mushrooms... many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many boxes of mushrooms.

and i don't want them

It's not us, it's you

Mabub sier: cant smoke food. well. you could. but yknow. its for eating
Livelin sier: really? that's not how we do it in norway
Mabub sier: I knew you crazy vikings were up to something
Livelin sier: it's not us.. it's you
Mabub sier: ah.. yes.. I see
Mabub sier: so this whole eating thing, we're doing it wrong from the start?
Livelin sier: indeed
Mabub sier: teach me
Livelin sier: you inject it.. through your nose
Mabub sier: with... needles?
Livelin sier: no.. branches. from a pine tree
Mabub sier: it's complicated. where do the moose and axes and brown cheese come in?
Livelin sier: we kill the moose with a robot monkey, holding an axe and we fry it in brown cheese
Livelin sier: geddit?
Mabub sier: what about the robot monkey after that, will it go mad? will it want to take over the world? how do you deal with that
Livelin sier: we kill it with an axe
Mabub sier: ah, that makes sense
Livelin sier: and then the penguins eat them
Mabub sier: that's... slightly more disturbing
Livelin sier: and then we kill penguins for sport.. it's the circle of life
Mabub sier: norway is... very... interesting

Smurfing

That's what I do. The things I do. That is smurfing. The word kind of include everything not inparticular. See that is a perfect english sentence innit. Well, for you who do know what it is, please excuse me for just writing a short definition on the word smurfing. No, i'll just give you an example. When you have something important to do, and you don't do it. You looking at random videos on youtube or reading blogs or just smurfing on the internet. That's smurfing. It doesn't have to include the internet ofcourse. It's when you're doing nothing inparticular

Right now, i should be doing homework. I "have been doing homework all day", and by that i mean that i haven't done anything, but i've been saving this day for homework. So now i'm blogging, which i shouldn't do, cause i'm only writing rubbish anyway, and i have an infection in my arm, and i can feel it getting worse. It's actually hurting now.

ooh! it's really bad when i'm hungover. For some reason i get this sharp pain in my writst when i'm hungover. 0.o

I want to watch Lemony Snicket's A series of unfortunate events. But i don't! cause I'm supposed to do homework! oh, i'm good. *proud*

/pat

I actually don't want to do my homework so much that I've tidyed up my room

Dagenderpå preik

Livelin sier: hva skjer?
froskemannen sier: ikno
Livelin sier: hatt en fin dag ell?
froskemannen sier: jadda
froskemannen sier: enn du?
Livelin sier: nei. helt jævli
Livelin sier: jeg har en kul i hodet. vet du noe om den?
froskemannen sier: hmm
froskemannen sier: ja, det var nok meg
Livelin sier: lol?
froskemannen sier:jeg dytta deg skjønner du vel
froskemannen sier:<_<>
Livelin sier: gjorde du det?
Livelin sier: jeg fortjente det sikkert
Livelin sier: hvorfor da? hvor da?
froskemannen sier: ja, du satt ved siden av meg tror jeg, også klarte jeg å dytte deg
froskemannen sier: hvorfor det aner jeg ikke, men jeg tror ikke det var meningen at du skulle bli skadet. du skalla inn i en søyle
Livelin sier: aha..
Livelin sier: okei
Livelin sier: jammen da så
froskemannen sier: jada
Livelin sier: når var det vi dro hjem?
froskemannen sier: jeg har masse å fortelle jeg, men det går fortere hvis jeg kan si det til deg i morgen
froskemannen sier: vi satt på nattbussen kvart over fire
froskemannen sier: var hjemme omtrent fem antar jeg
Livelin sier: okå.. blei du med han fyren hjem?
froskemannen sier: men jeg var skikkelig bekymret for deg - fordi du nektet jo selvfølgelig at jeg skulle følge deg fra bussen, og du ville av på skøyen og gå hjem selv
froskemannen sier: hæ? nei!
Livelin sier: klare sjøl ja... den er fin
froskemannen sier: vi tok bussen hjem sammen, du og jeg, liv-elin og tora
Livelin sier: greit greit.. tenkte bare jeg skulle sjekke
froskemannen sier: men hvertfall, jeg prøvde å ringe deg for å forsikre meg om at du ikke hadde dødd i en grøft, men det lot seg ikke gjøre
froskemannen sier: ante vel påenmåte at det kom til å gå fint... hvis ikke hadde jeg tatt deg med hjem
Livelin sier: jeg aaaaner virkelig ikke åssen jeg kom meg hjem på den glatte isen, med de dårlige skoene... men jeg våkna i senga mi
froskemannen sier: skillz
Livelin sier: lol
Livelin sier: det lå en sti av klær fra døra til senga mi
Livelin sier: kledd av meg mens jeg gikk
froskemannen sier: neida, å lol du kommer til å le så mye av de tingene som skjedde åååh lol
Livelin sier: hæ hva?
Livelin sier: shit stress?
froskemannen sier: nei bare alle de dumme menneskene vi traff på
froskemannen sier: å herre jemini
Livelin sier: traff vi mange dumme mennesker?
Livelin sier: lol on jemini
froskemannen sier: det beste var han ekle, slibrige mannen som kunne vært pappa'n vår som mente at vi bare kunne dra hjem til leiligheten hand på frogner 'trengte ikke å gjøre noe, kan bare slappe av. Bare ta med venninna di"
Livelin sier: ZÅMG!
froskemannen sier: og da jeg takket høflig nei så klarte han liksom å bli fornærmet for det
froskemannen sier: det er liksom, hva forventer du å høre da?
froskemannen sier: hva er det du tenker på?
froskemannen sier: med litt skillz kunne du kanskje vært vår bestefar, han var sikkert 45-50 år
Livelin sier: herlig
froskemannen sier: ja, herre fred
froskemannen sier: også de menneskene som klappet deg på hodet og ville mate deg kebab
Livelin sier: 0.o???
froskemannen sier: også en fyr på Deli de Luca som ville kjøpe deg røyk
froskemannen sier:det er bare sånn, hå? ser det ut som hun trenger røyk? hvordan ser man ut da, når man trenger røyk?
Livelin sier: kjøpe meg røyk? forfor det? hva svarte jeg?
froskemannen sier: nei, du svarte lite, du stod og spyttet imens jeg holdt håret ditt tilbake
Livelin sier: ah takk
froskemannen sier: jeg ga han litt potetgull
froskemannen sier: jeg ga alle potetgull
froskemannen sier: jeg har aldri spist så mye potetgull på så kort tid før, jeez
Livelin sier: hvordan potetgull kjøpte du egentlig? det fikk meg til å ville legge meg ned og dø
Livelin sier: lukten altså
froskemannen sier: å, det var sånne sombreros
Livelin sier: maishatter?
froskemannen sier: ja!
Livelin sier: var det jeg trodde det var.. men det virket helt ulogisk.
Livelin sier: hvorfor kjøpte du det?
froskemannen sier: ja, akkurat
froskemannen sier: jeg ville ha
froskemannen sier: de er gode
Livelin sier: okei...
Livelin sier: fair enough
froskemannen sier: ja, det våger jeg å påstå
Livelin sier: jge husker jeg hadde et skikkelig dilemma.. å shitshi, vil ha børek. neinei, kommer til å dø av børek. men vil ha. lol, stress. børek?
froskemannen sier: ja, eller vegetar calzone
froskemannen sier: det var ordentli dilemma
froskemannen sier: for å si det mildt
Livelin sier: dæven døtte..
Livelin sier: hva ble det til?
Livelin sier: ingenting, du avbestilte
Livelin sier: aha... lurt
froskemannen sier: også så jeg bort i et øyeblikk, og så var du borte
Livelin sier: hakke du hund a? du veit du må bruke bånd
froskemannen sier: ja, men det er ikke båndtvang inne på deli de luca
froskemannen sier: o.O
Livelin sier: skjønner
froskemannen sier: hvor skulle jeg få bånd fra da?
Livelin sier: det var en spøk
froskemannen sier: en lurt, en smart investering
froskemannen sier: ja, jeg vet det da, men jeg tenkte kanskje du hadde noen invendinger mot å kjøpe inn ett
froskemannen sier: jo, hvertfall. du stod bare utenfor
froskemannen sier: så du hadde ikke gått særlig langt
froskemannen sier: flink jente vet du
Livelin sier: neimen det var jo bra
froskemannen sier: ja, usedvanlig skarpt
Livelin sier: jeg er en skikkelig idiot
Livelin sier: jeg må slutte å drikke
froskemannen sier: jaha?
Livelin sier: hvertfall sprit
Livelin sier: tåler det ikke
Livelin sier: jeg blir jo gæern
Livelin sier: helt pling i bollen
froskemannen sier: du er littebitt hard på flaska, også gikk jo øl/vin OG sprit sånn omhverandre i en sånn herlig dommedagsblanding da
Livelin sier: drit smart
Livelin sier: jeg brukte så mye penger i går
froskemannen sier: å, det kan jeg tenke meg. Jeg skylder deg sikkert noe?
Livelin sier: jasså?
Livelin sier: det der veit du bedre enn meg
Livelin sier: drakk du mye?
froskemannen sier: hmm.. bare fikk det for meg i natt, men det foregikk mye rart da så
froskemannen sier: jeg ja, men i forhold til deg så var jeg jo stein edru
Livelin sier: shush på deg
froskemannen sier: jeg var hvertfall svært så ansvarsfull og ordentlig at jeg spyr jo nesten
froskemannen sier: jeg var jo egentlig ganske full, jeg måtte bare .. stryke skjorter, eller redde midtøsten
Livelin sier: (rofl)
froskemannen sier: splitte mine bramseil
Livelin sier: tenk positivt da. neste gang, kan jeg være ansvarsfull.. og om du ikke hadde vært det i går, hadde jeg ligget voldtatt ien grøft
froskemannen sier: ja, men, jeg må ta igjen litt søvn. jeg tror ikke vi har vann i jentegarderoben i morgen, verden skulle hatt juling.
froskemannen sier: du hadde gjort det samme for meg!
Livelin sier: ofc
froskemannen sier: og selv om du ikke hadde det, så ville jeg gjort det likevel, fordi jeg vil jo ikke at noe skal skje med deg
Livelin sier: typiske meg å la deg ligge igjen i grøfter
froskemannen sier: det er jo ikke det.
Livelin sier: lål. håper vi slipper å svette så mye i gymmen da
froskemannen sier: du ville sikkert sparket meg til jeg hadde reist meg igjen
froskemannen sier: ja. enig. vi får si det til ståle
Livelin sier: mm
froskemannen sier: neida
froskemannen sier: det var den 14
froskemannen sier: ikke imorgen
froskemannen sier: ikke noe problem, da har vi jo vann
Livelin sier: aha
Livelin sier:sweet
froskemannen sier: chill
froskemannen sier: vel vel, go'natt!!

Turtles?

I do wonder...
What is the differens between a turtle and a tortoise.
I have read the book by Roald Dahl, about tortoises. But on the picture on the cover of the book, it most definatly look like turtles. Could it be that turtoises actuallly just are small turtles?

I did see a small turtle once. I think it was in south Africa. Yes, it most definatly was. I was minding my own business, reascuing bugs out of the pool (which was 1,5 m deep, but we still couldn't see the bottom), when I saw a small turtle walking on the lawn. Cool Cool. I followed it arounf for a bit, but it didn't take very long before it got boring. It is true, they do walk very slow.

it would be cool to se it "hide". You know, when all you see is the shell, but i didn't want to scare it.

When I was in malaysia I saw a big turtle! a really big one! We were on an isle called turtle island, hence the turtle. It's a special island they come to lay eggs. So on land we saw a big turtle lay eggs in the sand, and i got to hold a baby turtle! it's so small! And the shell is all soft.

And when I was diving in Thailand I saw the same type of turtle (seaturtle) under water. That was cool. Soo big see. I even touched it, and it didn't mind, just kept swimming so peacefully probably eating the microorganisms in the water.

Viruses

A virus is such an incredible little thing. I can't call it a creature, cause it's not alive in the way we define "alive". But they really are incredible. So simple, but yet so amazingly built. They know exactly how to survive. They've outsmarted the human brain, cause we can't fine medicines against viruses, but then again, viruses and humans are very alike.

We are all different. If something change, we adapt. we spread, we take advantage of others, and we have a host. And like the virus we are slowly killing our host. Which is quite stupid really, cause we need out host to survive.

The viruses are causing more than half of all the known contagious diseases. Which is kinda gay, since we can't really cure them. Like the flu ey? a new type every year. But then again, maybe we're not supposed to. Imagine how many people there would've been living on the earth if noone got sick. We would probably start killing each other.. well, more than we already do I mean. Or maybe we would've caused lots of cataclysms, and destroyd the mother earth like it was a herrod. Just like a virus

What if... the virus' don't really mean to kill the host. Like we don't mean to kill the earth. What if they all get to gether to discuss what to do. Meet at Bali, fight, cry, scream n' everything, and then agree that they all agree that it would be a very bad thing to kill the host that gives them the chance to live.

Probably

I think that's how it is.

Bad idea

Last friday, I washed my hair. and then i put lotion in it.

Not recommended.

I didn't do it on purpose tho. We were out of conditoner see. So i had to step out of the shower, and look in the drawer for some more. While doing that I nearly flooded the bathroom, but did find a small bottle that looked like it could conatin conditioner.

But it didn't..

Customers

Well. Hello. I work in a shop. A supermarket really. And my job is refilling the fruit and vegetables. Which is kinda cool since i love fruit. So I like my job. And you meet all sorts of people. Some more annoying than others..


The patriots
They walk up to you and ask if you got strawberries. Yes we do. It's January, and we got strawberries. That's pretty good ey? Oh no, they don't want those, cause they're from Belgium. They only eat the Norwegian strawberries. Cause they're best. Berries from other countries don't taste anything! Well, honestly, by telling me that something doesn't taste anything, you're really telling me that you've killed all you sense of taste. Berries is just an example. It's the same thing with apples and carrots and so on..


The rich
"Excuse me. Do you have these in another colour, they don't mach the curtains..." It's a bloody carrot! They only come in one colour! "Well, can you go and check in the back" And it's not a question, it's an order. And I answer as politely as I can that, I'm pretty sure we only have orange carrots. "Yes, but can you go and check"gah...


The men
They come walking into the shop looking like they're a fish from an other planet, and they don't belong there. When they walk up to me, they're holding a note with a handwriting that looks like a childs.. a child that's only pretending to write. And they come over to me and point at the note and says: "Excuse me, could you please, I need.. that. *pointing* It's an aubergine. You probably never heard of it, but my wife gave me this see, and she needs it.. and.. and" Don't worry. I know what an aubergine is, and it's right over there. The purple one *nodding encouraging* And they look like I've just saved them from a terrible fate.


The gay men
You can hear them a mil away. Walking with their baskets, picking all types of herbs and spice. If they ask me where something is, it's the sort of things that you've never heard of.. ever. And I have to call the shift leader in the back to look it up. And sometimes it's just ordinary things, they're just using the Italian word for it.

And when we're out of for example thyme it's like.. "oh my god! What are we going to use on the potatoes now!" And then they ask me, if I don't have any more.. "I'm sorry, no we don't, but you could use chive?" "Yes.. yes we defiantly could! great, you've just saved the day, thank you very much!"


The women
A bit stressed out, walking very fast, asking for everything, cause they can't be bothered to look for themselves. And they too, as the gays ask for things we've never heard of. The difference is that they haven't heard of it either, they just found a recipe in a book. They saw the picture, and it looked interesting, and now they're having lots of friends over that they need to impress, so they're making some fancy food. What they're really serving their guests are cooked jellyfish, but no one dares to complain.

And the guests are arriving in one hour, so they're wearing an apron to the shop, stressing everyone around them, shouting to people, and saying in a voice filled with ice in every syllable "Excuse me! I've been all over the shop, don't you have eggs???!!" Eh, no, a big shop like this don't sell eggs.. -( ffs. Of course we sell eggs, it's on the very visible shelves over there. Right. They sent their husbands to the shop yesterday, but all he bought was an aubergine, and then he gave up and bought a six-pack of beer...


The families
A mommy, a daddy and a variable number of kids. Running around. Bumping into stuff. Crying, laughing, and screaming: "mommy, can I get this one! I really like these! Can we buy candy? please?" Non stop. I don't mind, they're children, that's how it is, but the parents look like they haven’t slept in a month. The children dragging each arm in different directions, and they're trying to do the shopping, talk to each other, answer the children, and pray that the kids don’t brake something, at the same time. So they all have an expression on their face like a man who just got two pieces of information at the same time. "You've just won 10 million pounds" and "You only have three hours to live" (quote Dylan Moran).


The students
Dawdling into the shop, snobby students or the warcraft geeks, it doesn't matter, cause they all ask for the same. They manage to find the pizzas on their own, but when they're sick of pizza, they come to me. And they want things like instant-pancakes. Means they can't be bothered to mix flour, eggs, some milk and butter.. No, that would take too long. Microwave food ftw.

They also want, things like already-made-waffle batter..

We got this thing called Fjordland in Norway. You buy a box, and you get a whole dinner. With rice, meat and sauce and everything you want really. Looks disgusting.. Never tasted it tho, so I wouldn't know.