And you know those things you just know about yourself? like for example you like the colour purple. You know. But sometimes your mind goes further, and you think, why do I like the colour purple? maybe it has got something to do with something that happened once in your life and maybe you don't remember, or maybe you do, but then you think about it and realise that that's not the reason at all.
Well anyway, i've always thought of myself as a giddy person. And I am when it comes to certain things, but it turns out, i'm not quite right. Let me explain. When spring comes (especially) i feel like i fall in love with almost everyone i see. I am so in love you have no idea, the happy feeling, the tingeling belly, everything. So i've always thought i fall in love easily. But then someone said to me: "you're not the kind of person who falls in love a lot are you?" and i told her she was wrong, i certainly do. I'm one of those silly girls who falls for everyone.But it got me thinking and I tried to remember who i'd been in love with. And i only remembered three. It seems like all the other times has been something else, just a "crush", it was there, but i didn't notice when it faded, and didn't think about it when it was gone.
So i am left with the three.
the first person i fell in love with, I actually got together with. Sort of. It was all really weird. And it always felt like i wanted him more than he wanted me, so it was never that satisfying "i love you, and you love me" connection. So you can say i lost that one
The second person. We met and had what you could call a one-week-romance. It was fun! and i fell completely for him ofcourse. But then he left, and I left. And we spoke every now and again, but it was nothing more than "we had fun for a bit, but now I just want to be friends" So i lost that one too.
The third, was the worst. He made me believe that he was in love with me too. Turned out I was wrong, he didn't want me either.
So to sum it up, i have loved and lost three times.
And it feels like i'll never fall love again, and i don't want to either. Which is a sad thought innit
But i don't like that other people can affect me like that.
I don't want to allow it again, simple as that
I'm feeling blue, cause love has gone
I guess i lose but life goes on
3 kommentarer:
You've always said you were a person who fell in love easily. I wouldn't know, because I am not your heart, but what you write here makes perfect sense to me. I feel like I know you a little better now.
When I'd been single for what felt like the longest time (15 months) I was real depressed. I'll be honest with you. I was ready to do anything just to feel loved. I almost had an infamous one night stand, the closest I'll ever get to one at this rate. And I never fall in love, but I felt like I did, it was so weird. I was so desperate.
And then I met Helge and you see how that went. We have almost been together for two years now and we share an apartment together.
I don't have a doubt in my mind that you will find a fourth (maybe fifth, maybe sixth - who knows?) who will LOVE YOU. I mean, really love you. And that you will love in return. Because it is so hard NOT to love you, I can't comprehend how anyone CAN'T love you. How is that even possible?
You haven't loved and lost, you have loved and won. In a sense. Because you haven't lost anything of worth.
They have.
<3
what tora is saying!!! <3
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